It's very important to me to get into the heads of my characters at the emotional level. I have a number of beta readers who provide feedback into the scenes I write. In Nobody's Perfect,Corie and her Dom, John Bacon, were very helpful in getting Savi (and Damian's) perspectives as close to realistic as possible.
John was interviewed earlier in the Blog Tour, so now it's Corie's turn.
Interview with Corie, a sub
Can you tell me about what it is like to be a Sub?
For me, being a sub is just my natural personality. I think ultimately I have always been submissive but just didn't know it.
When did you realize this was the life for you?
When did I realize? At the end of my marriage. I came across Cherise Sinclair's Masters of the Shadowlands, and my eyes went wide. I never thought I would enjoy anything like that, but I guess it is what I've been secretly wanting all along.
How did you go about finding the appropriate means once you realized what you needed? How would you suggest new subs find safe ways to practice?
I found appropriate means by emailing Cherise begging for information on finding more information. She directed me to Fetlife.com (an online community for kinksters).
I would and do recommend all newbie's to search FetLife, make friends, go to local munches (public, informal, social gatherings of those in the kink community, usually held at a restaurant or involving food, hence the name), and most importantly ALWAYS be safe. Have a "safe call" for when you go and meet someone for the first time. What I mean, someone u can text the license plate to. Someone whom u contact throughout the meeting so you are safe. There are lots of crazies out there.
What is your point of view on sadomasochism (SM), as you know Damian in Kally's book is now a sadist and Savi is a masochist. Do you do anything with that level of pain?
I am not huge into pain but I do understand Savi's problem. I also come from an abusive background—not incest but sexual, physical, and emotional abuse. I do sometimes beg John for a good beating, with his canes and other evil devices. Sometimes it's the only way I can release my tears that have built up. (I have issues with crying.)
What is it like emotionally to be on the receiving end of a Dom's attentions.
Hmmm I love it. It is truly nothing like anything I have ever experienced before. John is so attentive to me. He always tries to make sure everything is just right. He puts me first above himself. My happiness is his happiness.
Lastly, what is your favorite part about being a Sub?
My favorite part is the love I receive from John. He truly is my rock. My wall. I can tell him anything and not feel like he will scream at me for it. He is seriously the most patient man I have ever met.
For the record, I'm not just a sub, I am a Brat (a submissive who acts out for attention) as well. I purposely poke and taunt all the Doms in the local community. I usually get poked back twice as hard by them in return but alas....... I still get what I want. Hehehe
Nobody’s Perfect
Masters at Arms #4
Masters at Arms #4
Savannah Gentry, now Savi Baker, escaped the torture and degradation forced upon her by a sadistic father for eleven years and has made a safe life for herself and her daughter. When her father threatens her peace of mind—and her daughter’s safety—Savi runs to Damián Orlando for protection. Their one day together eight years earlier changed both their lives and resulted in a secret she can no longer hide. But being with Damián reawakens feelings she wants buried—and stirs up an onslaught of disturbing flashbacks that leave her shaken to the core with little hope of ever being a sexual being again.
Damián has his own dragons to fight, but has never forgotten the one perfect day he spent with Savannah in a cave at the beach. He will go to the ends of the earth to protect Savi and her daughter, but can never be the whole man she deserves after a firefight in Iraq. Besides, the trauma of war and resulting PTSD has led him to find his place as the Masters at Arms Club’s favorite sadist. Savi needs someone gentle and loving, not the broken man he has become. But he sees that the lifestyle he’s come to embrace also can help Savi regain control of her life and sexuality. How can he not help redirect her negative thoughts and actions if she needs him?
*********Giveaway********
To be entered for a chance to win the daily $10 gift card & swag pack.
Please leave Corie a comment or question below with your email address (no email = no entry)
To enter for the GRAND Prize of a $200 gift card (to one of the online book retailers).
Please fill out the questionnaire below.
49 comments:
Loved hearing the view from a sub, =) can´t wait for the book.
best wishes, Linda xo
I can honestly say the lifestyle fascinates me. My location doesn't warranty looking into it though, but if I could I would. I would really feel sorry for the first Dom or sub I could talk to openly with.
I think if I had a question for Corie it would be...Do you find Cherise's stories realistic and do you have any other favorite authors?
I forgot my addy - I never do that. I got too excited reading the interview.
tsteinerid(gmail)
Thanks Corie for being to open to us. I just started reading Cherise's stories also. I guess my question would be... if you are already in a relationship (mostly happy) how do you explain to him that sometimes you need to cry and it's ok?
modularmates(at)comcast(dot)net
Thanks for participating in the blog hop. Loved all the posts along the hop, was nice to hear from both sides of a D/s relationship.
starsia_70@yahoo.com
@ Toni, your question: Do you find Cherise's stories realistic and do you have any other favorite authors?
Well yes and no to Cherise's stories being realistic. Here in New England, there are not too many actual "Clubs" to attend. The closest club for us is about 2 hrs away. We do have many "Private" parties we are invited to though, and the Dom's, Hmmm I can def compare them to the "Real Dom's" in Cherise's books. The same goes for Kally's books though. OMGoodness, They (the Book Dom's) all have their real life counter parts for me. I can look at Master Adam and clearly see his personality in a few of my Real Dom friends, Including my own wonderful Master.
@ LM, I am VERY happy in my 24/7 D/s relationship. For us it's not ALL about Dom/Sub, we have a normal everyday vanilla life, I have 2 children, he has 2 children, we both have very vanilla like families. I still am very submissive even when we are in our vanilla life though.
How do I explain to him that I just need to cry? For the most part, he KNOWS... He knows me better than I sometimes know myself. I still have problems with verbalizing that I need or want something. For him it's like pulling teeth to get it out of me. He'll ask me what I want, and my typical response is, I want what will make you Happy. But alas, that is NOT the answer he is looking for. He wants me to tell him, SPANK ME, Cane me, flog me. Whatever it is.... Perfect example, just this week, I am recovering from shattering my ankle, I am on week 7 of recovery and I have to say I have been feeling like I'm a burden (I know I know, I'm not a burden) but that IS how I feel. I feel like I'm not giving him what HE needs being laid up. We haven't really been able to "Play" and it's been killing me. I have been the biggest brat in the world, trying to get a reaction out of him. We went to a local munch to meet up with our friends that I haven't been able to see in awhile, and I was sitting with some other Brat/sub friends. 1 of the girls dared me to hit Sir with my crutch. I kindly asked him to get me something to drink, and when he brought it, I thanked him and as he turned away I picked up my crutch and poked him in the butt with it. He and the other Masters close by all Looked at me with "The Look", I appologized immediately but said, you know it's cause I want to be punished! Well I got it. Spanked for a good long time when we finally got home. Cried for a bit. He held me and comforted me and reminded me that he will always be there for me.
No we are not married. But we do live 24/7. We do live together. We do both have a normal regular life. Do I call him Sir when we are with family? No, but I am not disrespectful or anything either. His happiness is my happiness and vise-versa.
I hope I answered your questions. And by all means if anyone else has some, don't hesitate to ask. I am always willing to help or give advice if I can. If I don't know the answer, I ask my Sir and he usually can answer.
Kally you have been an awesome friend and I truly LOVE LOVE LOVE your books! Keep up the good work and I know we will ALL be inpatiently waiting for more. Sorry I couldn't resist.
Corie-Thank you for being so candid about your lifestyle in both your interview and comments.
J.l.obrien912@gmail.com
Thanks for the informative interview. That's a great view point to learn from. Nobody's Perfect sounds amazing. Can't wait to read it.
e.balinski(at)att(dot)net
Wonderful interview! Thank you for sharing, Corie!
I was wondering how long it took you, after you realized you were submissive, to find your Dom?
trb0917 at gmail.com
Thank you so much for all the information. I would love to get into this lifestyle, but I've been independent for so long I would probably send all the doms running. lol
proudarmymom32(at)yahoo(dot)com
Cannot wait for this book!
Thanks for sharing.
carebearconnor@gmail.com
@ Tina B.
I started coming out within weeks of leaving my exhusband. I met my 1st Dom online and the outcome was not a good one. He was not willing to give me all I needed and on the few rare occacions we did meet up to play, it was more about him trying to (BREAK) me than anything. Our 2nd playdate, he beat me with a bambo cane to the point of severe bruising.
When I met the next 2 Dom's they too were about breaking my spirit instead of trying to help me to grow. I was just about ready to give up my search when 1 of the local Dom's that I befriended contacted me stating I was late for a munch. He and his wife had become my protectors, and they wanted me to meet some new people I hadn't met. Luckily I did finally make it and was Introduced to My Wonderful and Loving Sir/Master John.
John is not about Breaking me. He is about helping me grow. Helping get past my abusive past, and learn what it is I am truly trying to find. We have been together for almost a year now. I wasn't a very willing submissive in the beginning. Refusing to agree that we were a couple. Refusing to call him "Sir/Master". After a few months of him always being so patient, never yelling at me, always being there to help me with whatever crisis I felt I was going thru, I finally agreed to be his submissive/girlfriend/partner.
When I agreed, I posted a Journel entry in Fetlife to him, for Everyone to see.
This is what I wrote:
Thank You
Journal Entry | 3 Comments · 2 Love It | 8 months ago
I wonder how I got so lucky.
Lucky to have been found by Him.
To have been found by someone who doesn't wish to change me.
Doesn't wish I was someone else.
Who wants me for me and actually wishes only good things.
It's so hard to hand over the trust.
Trust I have never been able to give.
Have never felt before but have always desired.
To be able to freely speak my mind, what I'm feeling and not fearing that what I say will bring about anger, hate, or feelings of regret.
To be wholly loved for just being me.
It's such a different feeling than any I have experienced before.
Going forward on this journey the waters have finally smoothed out.
I don't feel like the boat will flip in the churning waters of my confusion, of the anger and pain of my past.
Yes, of course there are still many fears to overcome, to analyze, to learn from, to move on from.
I will not allow my past to rule my future any longer.
The one who now holds my heart has shown so much to me.
Has been so patient with me.
He helps me to see there is more than just the things that were bread in my head.
More than the negative remarks that have always been said to me my whole life.
There truly are people who care.
Thank you, Thank you, Thank you for showing me this new way.
For stearing me in this direction.
For guiding me in all that we do.
For being my rock
For always staying true.
He means so much to me already.
I can't even put it into words.
I think I show Him everyday we are together, just how much He truly does mean to me.
He picks me up when I am down.
He lifts my spirits.
He shows me how beautiful everything is.
He makes me so very happy.
For this I willingly kneel before HIM, to show my feelings are true.
I am here for Him as He is for me.
I wish for Him to see that He is the Only one for me.
♥I willingly give Him my heart to keep safe through our journey together.♥
It's great to hear such an honest and open explanation of the lifestyle. I'd be curious to ask Corie...are you close to Grant? I always wondered how Dommes and female subs relate to each other (not necessarily in scenes, but just philosophically).
vitajex(at)aol(dot)com
I am happy that you have found each other, Corie! That was a beautiful message to him. :)
To the question: are you close to Grant? I always wondered how Dommes and female subs relate to each other (not necessarily in scenes, but just philosophically).
Hmmm that is a very good question. I have a few friends that are Domme's that I feel I am close to. Mistress CJ is very close to John and now myself. She is a great person and now I have her reading Kinky books. LOL. Of course she would rather read the books with Mistress's in charge over Dom's LOL.
Now mind you, she's never spanked me or anything. I've never Poked her like I do the "Dom's" in the community. Her and I are more just friends than her taking charge of me. Of course if I EVER did anything that deserved punishment from her, I know for a fact John would allow it and it would be a very public thing for all in our community to witness.
I don't know if I actually answered your question, but I tried. :)
Thanks for sharing:)
reginamayross@gmail.com
Thank you for the interview and Corie for your responses! I've always wondered how close stories are to real life. It sounds like you are very lucky and I'm glad you were able to find someone.
lfacchini(at)tampabay(dot)rr(dot)com
Great interview! Makes me want to read your book that much more! Sounds great!! Thanks for sharing!
shadowluvs2read(at)gmail(dot)com
Thanks for the insight into your experiences. Can't wait for the book.
denise
drh.cleveland@gmail.com
Thank you so much for the interview and comments Corie. You have answered a lot of questions for me.
I find the D/S lifestyle so very interesting..Thank you so much for the interview and as always can't wait for Kally's next book,,leisaprater@att.net
Corrie, thanks for sharing part of your life with us! The trust and respect between John and yourself is awesome to read about.
suz2(at)cox(dot)net
The Shadowlands series by Cherise Sinclair was my first experience with BDSM books too. They interested me greatly, and caused me to seek out more books in this genre. I love Kally's books and am so glad that I found them. Thank you so much for the interview about the lifestyle and your experience with it.
manning_j2004 at yahoo dot com
Love your books Kallyspo. Sorry I'm late but I've been busy with packing, purging and moving.
:)
Marika
maw1725@gmail.com
Thank you Corie for being open and honest. I love being able to see both sides of the relationship.
rachaelmccully@yahoo.com
Love the interview!
Yvette
yratpatrol@aol.com
Thank you for answering all of the questions so far Corie! My husband I and recently began a 24/7 D/s lifestyle and we have never been happier. This is definitely the life we was made for. We don't go to clubs as we have 6 kids still at home. Which brings me to my question...What are some ways we can keep our D/s heirarchy with kids around all the time? We have made an agreement that I am to take care of the younger kids needs first, then tend to him. Do you have other suggestions?
Mel
bournmelissa at hotmail dot com
Love the interview! Can't wait to read it:)
taghairmpyxi(at)aol(dot)com
Thanks for the sub view, great interview.
kerryjcj@verizon.net
@ Mel Bourn, What are some ways we can keep our D/s heirarchy with kids around all the time? We have made an agreement that I am to take care of the younger kids needs first, then tend to him. Do you have other suggestions?
This my dear is a very good question! hmmm how to answer. John and I tend to work together with the children. We don't have all 4 all the time, but when children are around, they def come 1st. We share the responsability together. Whether it is my children or his that are there.
Usually after they go to bed, it is all about us then. Remember his happiness is my happiness. We tend to work together on most things. I won't lie though, I tend to be a brat, Poke him often. LOL, he will walk past me (whether kids are there or not) and I'll jab him with my finger, I usually get the "Look" and am told I'll be dealt with later, but THAT's the fun of it. I love our playfulness.
Thanks for the giveaway. My question is I haven't read any of your books, what are they about.
Snfrog7@Aol.com
I have yet to read any of Kallypso's books but this post makes me want to start!!
bluesun1218@yahoo.com
The interview was great and the book sounds really good! Thanks!
pooks70@live.com
good interview from Corie. Thanks.
oops forgot my email;
eileen
edor628@verizon.net
Great insight into a sub's mind...thanks for sharing:)
andieleah78@gmail.com
Loved the interview. Like to better understand the lifestyle. Thanks for the contest too. Thanks for letting us see a little bit of your world.
tiss81@hotmail.com
Thanks for the insight into your world. Gives me more to think about for my own life.
readerme23 (at) yahoo (dot) com
Thank you for your insight. I had a similar epiphany when I read the Masters of the Shadowlands books. I'm glad you found a community and a partner that understands and accepts you.
geishasmom73 AT yahoo DOT com
Wow what a great interview!!! It was great hearing things from a sub perspective. Thank you for opening up to all of us.
Linda
Thank you Corie for your insight. I don't know anyone in the lifestyle but find myself more and more interested in learning more about it.
Thanks for the giveaway!
redfirewood888(AT)yahoo(DOT)ca
It is truly fascinating. Thank you!!
marypres(AT)gmail(DOT)com
That was a great interview Cori. Thanks for sharing some of your private life with us. How difficult was it for you to leave the Doms who weren't right for you?
luvfuzzzeeefaces at yahoo dot com
Beside the darkness of the characters' back stories, I believe this novel delivers a very positive message: re-gain control of your sexuality, of your life, of your impulses, and be free. Despite what we could be mislead to believe, in a sub/dom relationship the one who really is in charge is the submissive.
minadecaro@hotmail.com
Great interview.
Looking forward to reading this book.
elaing8(at)netscape(dot)net
Very interesting post.
bn100candg(at)hotmail(dot)com
Here is our winner for Day 10!
First a thank you to United by Books for allowing Kally and Corie to visit today. It was a great pleasure reading the questions and comments.
So now without further ado...
Congratulations to
Shadow
Email: shadowluvs2read...
I will be emailing you shortly!
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